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Yo since I have nothing better to do, I'm going to liveblog this week's episode of Masterchef (it aired on 7-27-16) because that show is my life ok ok. (Obvs this will have spoilers, but like, I doubt anyone will be reading this anyway. I just feel obligated to warn for it. Plus I'm watching this a day after it aired (and late on the day after it aired) so hopefully everyone who actually cares has already watched the episode anyway.)



So Eric and Katie are team leaders this week, and they have to cook for a Sweet 16 birthday party. Cute idea! I also like how the kids participating in the party were nominated by their schools, and it's implied that they're kids who hadn't been able to have their own party, so that's really neat.

As far as these team leaders go, I'm already rooting for Eric. He had a tough beginning in this competition, but it almost seems like his friend (Manny) being eliminated two weeks ago somehow inspired him to step it up, because he's been great ever since. I also just like him because he's a likable guy--dedicated, seems really nice and down-to-earth. I'm also biased toward firefighters, because my family is chock full of them. We are a firefighting family. Idk why, but whatever. Love your firefighters, folks.

Katie, on the other hand, was somebody who hadn't really stuck out in any capacity until her win last week. Honestly, I didn't even know her name until last week. I don't think she had many personal interviews, and I don't think the judges were shown tasting her food even once (until, of course, last week with her kidney curry).

The other people I like are split pretty evenly between teams: Katie got Andrea and Brandi while Eric got Terry and Shaun.

The last pick was split between Dan and Nathan. I actually used to dislike Dan, but he's grown on me. My only issue with him is that his entire persona seems like a caricature. He's the resident "frat guy" and he plays on that like you wouldn't believe. He uses all the generic speech of a frat guy, dresses like a stereotypical frat guy, NEVER SHUTS UP about how he's a frat guy...but lord, can that boy cook. And while he doesn't seem necessarily genuine, he's clearly not a bad person.

Nathan, on the other hand, was an early love for me just because he's young and I'm always a sucker for the "youngster trying to prove himself" schtick. Unfortunately for Nathan, he was last pick and ended up on Katie's team.

Now, Katie, right off the bat, makes it pretty damn clear to everybody that she doesn't want Nathan on her team, and this is affecting the everyone. Nathan's a really good cook, but apparently Katie can't look past the "young" aspect and starts treating him like a child immediately. Nathan realizes this, Katie even acknowledges it in a personal interview segment. And I can relate to Nathan's response of getting testy. I mean, I know as well as anyone how much it sucks to be underestimated thanks to a completely stupid reason that can't be helped (i.e. being young, being female, being small, etc). Honestly I think Nathan's handling it pretty well, but if I were him, I just would've shot off and done my own thing rather than continuously trying to get Katie to help me. Screw her, you know? She basically threw Nathan onto what she considered to be the easiest task because she "didn't trust him." What's to trust? Maybe you should trust him enough to let him tell you what he'd be most comfortable cooking instead of assuming one task is the easiest for everybody. Jfc, I'm taking this so personally. Moving on.

Also Andrea, love, I adore you, but stop being a bitch to Nathan and focus on what you are supposed to be doing. (I say that with tongue-in-cheek, because I relate this to myself at work and I'd probably be doing the same thing as Andrea if the coworker I don't like was asking my boss for help on every little thing. Matter of perspective, but she's still bugging me.)

(Sidenote: Also am I the only one tired of Nathan saying "Oh my gosh" all the time?? I want to facepalm every time I hear it. I get that you're the preacher's son, but live a little, dude. Just swear. Just do it. You'll feel so much better.)

Gordon Ramsey comes over to Katie's team (literally Katie's team has been the only one shown so far this is foreshadowing something) and they tell him their menu and he gets pissy because it's multicultural. I mean, why is that such a big deal if everything tastes good and fits together? I'm no food connouisseur, but I have meals where I'll eat pasta and salsa/guacamole at the same sitting. Am I a demon because I'm mixing Italian with Mexican food? What. I think he's just trying to create more drama at this point, and I don't know why that's necessary with the Katie/Nathan/Andrea trio here.

Ooooh, Eric's team is finally shown and they're making what is essentially a vegetable dish with some chicken and bacon thrown in. I don't know about most teenagers, but I despise vegetables. I don't think it's the smartest move here to put so many veggies on a plate for a bunch of 16 year olds.

Kids come in and they're so excited! This show makes me so emotional, lol. I hope they all like the food.

Ugh, you know, there's always one team that tries to serve raw meat, and I'm just sad it's Eric's team. I want his team to win so badly, but I don't think it's going to happen with all their vegetables. Their only real hope is that Katie's team moves so slowly that not everyone gets one of their plates, but every teenager I know would love Asian-inspired shrimp over vegetables+chicken.

Alright, Andrea and Nathan almost got into a fistfight. That's a first. I really hope they don't have to work together again, but I'm almost anticipating a partner challenge with those two paired if they manage to survive the elimination this week.

Katie's plates weren't all finished. They all had at least one shrimp, but each was supposed to have three, and let me tell you, if I was one of the kids who got less than three shrimp, I would vote for Eric's team out of spite alone even though I don't like chicken or vegetables. Hopefully (or not, since I really want Eric's team to win) these kids are a bit more mature than I am.

And the winner is about to be revealed! Chef Ramsey claims it isn't close, which makes me feel like it's going to be Eric's team. *crosses fingers*

The winner is..........Katie's team! Booooooo. They apparently got 80% of the votes, and I honest to god think it's because teens are automatically going to prefer shrimp over chicken regardless of how good the chicken is. RIGGED. *ahem* not really, but still. I think going into the challenge Katie's team had an advantage, and it's unfortunate.

That means that Eric's team--which includes Eric, Terry, Shaun, Dan, Alejandro, and Tanorria--are going to the pressure test.

I...actually like every single one of them, but if I had to pick someone to go, I'd say Alejandro. Or maybe Dan. Or Tanorria, I guess. Okay, I literally can't choose other than really, really wanting Eric to stay, but everyone else is tied. I'll have to wait until they actually cook to make a guess on who's going to leave.

At least Brandi's safe. I can't even be happy about Andrea being safe after that shit show, but Brandi's still my Unproblematic Fave.

(Sidenote 2: It's so cute how tiny Tanorria is next to all those tall guys, omg.)

Oh shit, the pressure test is making a cake. Taking that into account, I don't think Eric has a good chance at all. He's more a savory cook. Terry and Dan will probably be fine, and I don't really know about the other three. I can't recall them ever mentioning opinions on baking, or sticking out much in the pie episode, which is what I'm basing these guesses on. BUT that's my preliminary, before-cooking guess: My Love Eric will be leaving us (*cries anguished tears*), Terry will be at the top because Terry is always at the top. I think bottom three will be comprised of Eric, Tanorria, and Alejandro (or if there's only a bottom two, then Eric and Alejandro). LET'S SEE WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS, FOLKS.

Ooh, okay, I paused it too early and didn't hear that decorating would be part of the judging. That doesn't really change my opinion on the bottom, but it makes me feel like maybe Shaun might take Tanorria's place in bottom three. Tanorria strikes me as someone who's pretty creative while Shaun...not so much. I'm still going to stick with my original guess, though. I just want this noted here in case Shaun ends up in the bottom solely because of decorating, because then I will gloat.

They all start out cooking, and not even one of them looks thrilled about this. Honestly, I've never liked baking challenges in this show. They almost seem...unfair, in a way? Like, if you're not someone who bakes for a living, it's really dang hard to bake something from scratch without a recipe in front of you. Alejandro said it best: "Baking is a science." Yes, and the wrong amount of any of those ingredients could destroy your finished product, and I don't think that's necessarily fair. Savory foods are based more on taste and are a lot less exact while baking is based on memorization. I don't know. I'm probably just being silly, but yeah, I hate the baking challenges.

Terry's making a wedding-inspired cake! Aww, I love Terry. I hope his cake turns out well.

Eric's making a fire department-inspired cake. I also love Eric. Why are all the people on this show so gosh darn cute??

Oh no, Shaun seems to be falling apart. I absolutely did not expect that--He always seems to have a lot of confidence, so it's weird to see him struggling.

Okay, not about the cooks, but Christina (am I spelling that right? The judge) has been ticking me off this season. I don't know why, but it feels like everything she says and does is scripted and she's a crappy actor. I don't know why I get that impression, but I do and it drives me nuts. Just chill, Christina. You don't have to comment on everything, you don't have to make a face and dramatically gasp every time something bad happens. Just. Chill.

I seriously feel like the show's producers use Christina solely to explain stuff to the viewers that non-chefs wouldn't understand, and it's sad that she's been delegated to that. It's good info to have, but maybe don't always have her be the one to give it so that it seems a bit more natural.

Oh man, Shaun looks like he's going to cry. I will cry if Shaun is eliminated. This is unbelievable.

I don't think Eric finished all the way. I also don't think sticking candles in the cake was the smartest idea, and I also don't see it looking anything like how he described. I think he probably realized at the last minute he ran out of time for his decorating plans and threw on the candles just to have something. Oh, Eric. :(

Also, holy shit was I wrong about the Tanorria vs Shaun decorating expectations. Shaun's cake looks
incredible. Sorry for underestimating you, Shaun. Won't happen again. (Not that Tanorria's looks bad...Just that I personally think Shaun's looks better.)

Ugh, okay, I wasn't the hugest fan of Diamond in the first place, but the fact that she laughed at Eric's (admittedly messy) cake just sent her down the list. At least now I have someone that I actively want out of the competition, lol. Her and Katie, anyway.

(Sidenote 3: I hate the fact that "sponge cake" is what it is, because every time I hear the words, I basically picture angelfood cake in my mind. Angelfood cake, to me, seems so much spongier than actual sponge cake and it is superior in every way, so it's always disappointing when someone's like "Here's some sponge cake" and then it's actual sponge cake instead of angelfood cake.)

WHAT DO YOU KNOW Terry killed it. He is the one to beat in this competition, and I'm just glad that he's such a sweet guy.

(Sidenote 4: Alejandro said "vanilla" when he was describing his cake and I definitely thought he said "banana" and got super confused because I had not seen one banana during this entire challenge.)

Dan made a "nautical themed" cake, wtf. I can't help but be endeared to him, but what was this boy thinking? Of course Chef Ramsey hates it, but my god, this is the most I have ever laughed while watching this show. He made an anchor out of pretzel sticks and chocolate chips. For no reason. Dan is a character, and he grows on me with every episode. I hope to god his cake tastes amazing, or Ramsey might get rid of him out of spite, which just wouldn't be right.

YES Dan's cake was great. He's a dark horse, just calling it man, he's making it to at least top 5.

Okay, so after seeing what everyone put forward, I definitely still think I was right that Alejandro and Eric are in the bottom two, but I honestly don't know which one is going. I'm going to change my guess to Alejandro, because at least Eric's frosting didn't melt. Maybe that will save him.

Oh my gosh, Shaun was top! I honestly thought it'd be Terry, but Shaun deserved it after that awesome comeback.

Terry and Dan are safe, of course. Man, I was spot on with my bottom choices, dang. I'm proud.

"Alejandro. You had too many issues tonight. But........There were too many of them." SEE THIS RIGHT HERE IS WHAT I HATE ABOUT THIS SHOW. Could Chef Ramsey have said that in a way that was a bit less giving of false hope, like, Alejandro is a real person who genuinely tried and wanted to do well and he's going to be disappointed. You don't have to be a bastard about how you eliminate him. Don't try to trick people for drama, my god. (and honestly maybe it was editing that did that, but still. I know this show is heavily edited, but I'd rather know that the judges were treating their contestants with respect than have the suspense and drama.)

At least Eric is being given another shot. I liked Alejandro, but he didn't stick out as a favorite, so I'm content with this decision. Y'all know though that I'm just 100% biased toward Eric, so anything that keeps him in the show will make me happy.

I'm also glad Tanorria gets another week, because she is fun to watch and seems to have a lot of potential. I'm rooting for her, too!

(Also can we please take a moment to acknowledge how good I was on my choices here? Granted, I did switch from Eric to Alejandro, but I did so before seeing the results, so. My only mistake was thinking Terry would be the best.)

I'm going to try to liveblog the rest of the Masterchef episodes for this season, so if anyone actually read and enjoyed this, check back next Thursday for my next liveblog (and yes, I will consistently post these the day after they air on Fox because I watch them online. Jsyk). Ciao~~

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